TIMBER!
06. Jan, 2010 
2 Comments
A lumberjack uses an axe to chop down a tree. Nobody can argue with the method. It is how many-a-lumberjack has cut down trees and made a living.
But to keep using an axe, when a chainsaw is at your disposal, is about as smart as casting Pauly Shore to star in your next movie.
Well, in the sequel to their Cinderella-esque run to the 2009 NBA Finals, Stan Van Gundy and the Orlando Magic have hired the Bio-Dome star as the lead, with Matt Damon simply making a cameo. Someone needs to explain to me how the only team in the Eastern Conference with a legitimate center, can center their offense around the 3-point shot.
In the 21 games this season when Dwight Howard took at least 8 shots, the Magic are 18-3. That’s a win percentage of over 85%, with a sample size of more then 1/4 of a season. In comparison, the team many consider the greatest of all time, the 1995-96 Chicago Bulls, had a winning percentage of just over 87% in their historic 72 win season. Proof that this Magic team could be one for the history books if they just got the ball inside to the their dominant big man.
So why then is the Orlando Magic winning percentage sitting about 15 points lower then it should be? The answer is simple. In the 13 games where Howard did not get at least 8 shots, the team is 6-7. That’s right, they have a losing record when the best big man in the Eastern Conference (maybe the League?) doesn’t get the ball inside.
So, what does a team do when they don’t get the ball inside? They get the ball outside. In fact, they get it as far away form the hoop as they can and then they launch it. The Magic lead the league in 3 point Field Goals attempted per game. That’s right, they shoot more 3 pointers on a given night then the New York Knicks. Who knew?
Nobody can argue that the Magic are not a legitimate threat to win the Eastern Conference and make it back to the NBA Finals. They, much like Andy Dick and his new found love for the female body, are just confused. Stop pretending your are something you’re not, and throw the ball inside to your lumberjack (who by the way, is holding a brand new chainsaw) and watch the tall trees around you fall to the ground.
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Great article..like the humorous and somewhat cynical observation as well as the great “timber” analogy..keep the stories coming!
yea…it is like hunting for bear with a sling shot when you have a shotgun strapped to your back…