Hilary Clinton suggested American citizens donate $10 via cell phone text message. But, because I still don’t like the idea of sending text messages to those strange numbers advertised on TV, I decided to donate my $10 to the Red Cross via their website (much more reputable in my opinion). After I did, I felt a little better and hoped that my money would make some small difference.

Like me, professional athletes have decided to donate funds to help the Haitian cause in a time of deep need. Unlike me, professional athletes have much deeper pockets. The New York Yankees, while sometimes known as “The Evil Empire,” generously donated $500,000 to the relief effort. What’s more, Major League Baseball contributed $1,000,000 on behalf of all of its teams. Philidelphia 76er Samuel Dalembert, who has family residing in Haiti, wrote a $100,000 check and plans to match fan donations at the next game against Sacramento. The Livestrong Foundation, brainchild of cyclist Lance Armstrong, will supply $250,000 in aid to Doctors Without Borders.

Indianapolis Colts wide receiver, Pierre Garcon, is still missing family members in the tragedy. With electricity, telephone connections, and internet connectivity still sketchy, Garcon has been unable to reach all of his relatives living in the area. All the while, Garcon is expected to be at his best for the AFC divisional playoff game against the Baltimore Ravens this weekend. Via his Twitter account, Garcon is offering signed gear as a thank you to fans for their donations to relief organizations and the Haitian people. In addition, the Colts organization will donate $10,000 to the Red Cross.

Because the United States has such close relations with the Caribbean nation, many in our community of friends and neighbors have been deeply impacted by the natural disaster in Haiti. It’s no surprise, then, to see this heartbreak, confusion, and ultimately, generosity mirrored in our community of professional athletes. Plagued by bad sports news lately (Gilbert Arenas toting guns into crowded stadiums & Mark McGwire’s steroid admissions) its nice to see athletes and organizations acting as role models and putting their money where their mouths are.

So how is it possible that this year’s athlete is more likely to leave skid marks than footprints on the great lineage of the award?

Yes, the 2009 AP Athlete of the Year is NASCAR’s Jimmie Johnson. Jimmie Johnson didn’t hit 47 homeruns- Albert Pujols did. Jimmie Johnson didn’t rush for over 1,700 yards- no, Chris Johnson is doing that. Jimmie Johnson didn’t average over 27 points a game and win an NBA championship- that would be Kobe Bryant.

So, what did Jimmie Johnson do to earn the title AP Athlete of the Year? Okay, so he won four consecutive NASCAR championships. That’s pretty impressive- if you consider pressing on three pedals, shifting into gear, and steering all at the same time impressive. He’s quite the multi-tasker, isn’t he? Just today I was walking into my apartment, chewing gum, talking on the phone, and checking my watch. I guess you can put me on the short list of nominees for the 2010 award.

Maybe because I’m a girl, maybe because I don’t think people who drive cars are athletes (think about it- your mom can do it), or maybe it’s because I have all my teeth, but I don’t think Jimmie Johnson is the epitome of athleticism. So what? Jimmie Johnson is a man who can turn left as gracefully as Derek Zoolander. But is he a Mickey Mantle? A Joe Montana? A Carl Lewis? I don’t think he is.

1. A Sense of Entitlement
2. The Thrill of the Chase
3. Peer Pressure
4. Viewing Infidelity as a Status Symbol
5. Increased Opportunities to Cheat
6. The Excitement of Doing Something Forbidden
7. Ego-Embellishment
8. Inability to Resist Temptation or Say No
9. A Sense of Superiority
10. The Belief that They Can Get Away With It
11. A Belief that Money Can Buy Them Anything
12. Low Moral Values
13. Sex Addiction
14. Because They Can

What we don’t know, and what I simply cannot fathom, is why these men cheat on their wives with someone LESS atttractive.   It seems that they got their wires crossed and think that the proverb the”grass is always greener” means that they should trade their duplex on Park Avenue to a tenement in Ozone Park.   While Tiger did better than most, none of his “alleged” mistresses (this goes double for Mindy Lawton) are hotter than wife, Elin Nordegren.  True, Elin’s teeth are slightly bucked, but she is still has one up on Jaimee Grubbs.  And, we can all agree that Kalika Moquin could never look as good as Elin as she bashed out the rear window of Tiger’s Cadillac Escalade with a nine iron.  In the spirit of sticking to the topic at hand I won’t even mention how in golf, Tiger, who would never think of coming second to Rocco Mediate, is suddenly just fine with taking Angel’s leftovers (aka Rachel Uchitel)

By NO means am I saying that cheating is OK – it’s not.  However, if you are going to break your vows, crush your spouse and tear apart your family, at least, make it count.  Don’t do it by banging a girl whose only claim to fame is that she is better looking than Quasimoto (yes, this means you, Steve Phillips).