BackupQuarterback

It’s got to be tough being Scottie Pippen.  He has been forced out of the spotlight for most of his life thanks to Jordan.  So what’s the best way to become that leading man he has always dreamed of being?  I dont know, but I am pretty sure it is not fighting a small army of midgets on [...]

A lumberjack uses an axe to chop down a tree.  Nobody can argue with the method.  It is how many-a-lumberjack has cut down trees and made a living.

But to keep using an axe, when a chainsaw is at your disposal, is about as smart as casting Pauly Shore to star in your next movie.

Well, in the [...]

Read a dictionary.  The word retires means “to withdraw from one’s occupation, business, or office; stop working”  That means you were currently working, and decided you no longer wanted to work.  It is a decision that you make, not one that’s made for you.  Thanks for announcing that you are now retired.  I would like [...]

Did you lose your personality with all that weight?  What is this poilitically correct talk about Tiger Woods.  “He will get through it – I wish them the best”  “he raises the bar for all of us to play better golf as well”  “hopefully he and Elin can work it out”   The John Daly we [...]

Stop talking just to hear yourself talk.   You really think LeBron should be coach?  When’s the last time that worked?  Lenny Wilkens in 1975?   Oh, it worked?  Should we bring back bell-bottoms, bean bag chairs and disco too?  They were awesome in 1975.  Well, bean bag chairs are still pretty awesome, but disco can stay [...]

Go play with girls.   Since you came on the Indy-car scene, you have won 1 race.  Your reward, you move on to the Nationwide Series?!?!  You better thank your stars that your are kind-of-sort-of hot or you would serving table at the local diner.  You want to be relevant?  Go make a sex tape.

Just go away.   What would Jesus do?  He would show a little humility, take himself out of the running for the Heisman this year, and move to a 3rd world country.  I can already see the feature on HBO’s Real Sports about how Tim Tebow made millions and then lost it all to some church [...]

Just go to sleep.   Lets take it one day at a time and see if we can keep the police from being called to your mansion at 230 in the morning.  Whether it’s meeting girls in Vegas whose ultimate aspirations are to end up on MTV’s “Jersey Shore,” or it’s Ambien-induced, wife smashing out your [...]

In the century-plus history of “The Civil War” in Oregon, the game has never had more meaning.  The winner of the Oregon vs. Oregon St. football game Thursday night will punch their ticket to the Rose Bowl on New Year’s Day.   That’s the good news…
The bad news….nobody cares.   Call me an idiot.  Call me a [...]